You are viewing [info]ultrosorutorosu's journal

The Great Ultros

Don't tease the octopus, kids!

The Great Ultros

Ultros
ultrosorutorosu's to-do list ultrosorutorosu's memories Tell a friend about ultrosorutorosu Search ultrosorutorosu Nudge ultrosorutorosu

View

Navigation

March 22nd, 2012

This is my chance to shine!

3/22/12 07:04 pm
Add to Memories Share
Ultros
Hello, fans!

Didjya' MISS ME?

Well worry no more, for The Great Ultros is back!

Not just back, but better than ever! Isn't that right, Mr. Chupon?

RRRWAAEEERRRR

Exactly!
This whole "end of the world" thing has been a pretty decent thing for me.

I mean yeah, first I was a little peeved that ol' Sephy burnt every last single copy of my recently written amazing book.... but then I realized, hey, this just gives me more chances to strike it big!
I mean, who needs books in a post apocalyptic world anyway, right?

( Private )

ANYWAY, you guys need places to live, I need money. And HAVE imps! my ol' buddies, I called in a couple of favours and got myself a rebuild team! They build you houses, shacks, sheds, rooms, whatever, and you give me money!

And I'm the cheapest guy around! My promise to you is that I'll be at least twice as cheaper as the cheaper-est housing manufacturer out there! Just say the word and you'll have a specialty imp-built hovel in NO TIME FLAT!


HousingpricessubjecttochangebuildingtimemayvaryplumbingandelectricityextrayoumustsupplyyourownpropertyTheGreatUltroshousinginc.notresponsibleforpropertydamageduringconstruction
insulationextraimpsmaybepronetoturningcustomersintoimpsitisadvisedyouhavegreencherriesonhandpleasedonotrequesthousinginthecolouryellowhousingwhilesupplieslastseeTheGreatUltrosfordetails.


( Private evil scheme )


Add to Memories Share

February 11th, 2012

Bwaahaha!

2/11/12 10:50 pm
Add to Memories Share
Swimming Ultros
*splash*

Well well well, things are looking okay around here!

...


Well hello there, ladies and gentlefools!
You may be wondering where ol' Ultros has been lately! Well, that's a good question!
I've been QUESTING!

But not lame quests like you losers. No, my quest has actually been IMPORTANT!
See, I was thinking about how I'm so totally amazing and yet... I'm not extremely rich!

Some say it could be my lack of being able to save. Others, that it could be that when I do often spend, I spend it on useless things and crazy ideas that some people would say never work (PS THEY'RE WRONG!).
Or some may even say that I'm just not as amazing as I think I am! HAH, foolish mortals!

No no no, I understand what it is. It's because the world just can't GRASP how amazing I am yet! The world just hasn't been ready for the Amazing Ultros!

So I went out, I quested, I looked everywhere and studied all I can (changed my TV from the cartoon network to the history station and then discovery channel). Heck, I even climbed to the top of a mountain to ask a sage for advice!
Well, I climbed the wrong mountain, but whatever. I moved the flag I found out of the way then got my own flag out and claimed it in the name of the Great Ultros.
AND NOW I OWN A MOUNTAIN!

Erm, where was I?
Oh, oh yeah!
I figured out that what I need... is a book!
Yeah yeah, like a book all about me! I took some writing classes, read some other (comic)books, blah blah blah.
So I worked and worked on this book, and it was awesome!
Heck, I am SO AMAZING and have SO MANY accomplishments that it wasn't even hard to write this book about me! By the time I was done, there were over seventeen-thousand pages!
IN THE FIRST CHAPTER!
And that only took about a day and a half to type out!

Then this stupid other... writy... writer reader... person. What was he called? Oh yeah, publisher! Erm, sorry, is that a sexist term? I meant publishperson. Anyway, this person was all "wah wahh you have too many words cut them down because I'm a big dumb loser and I don't think blah blah something or other." Meh, probably just thought there was too much awesome in the book for normal people. Maybe make their heads explode!

So the REAL hard work came there.
It was DEVASTATING! Have you... have you guys ever tried to CUT THE AWESOME out of a book about YOU AND YOUR AWESOME LIFE?!? It just... it just doesn't... it's not RIGHT!
Bah, so anyway, I took some of the... LESS awesome (if that's even possible for me!) parts out and over the course of the last six months managed to squeeze it down to "regular" size for a book.

Anyway, it's scheduled to come out one of these days. Just after the editor gives it a reads and corrects the spelling and grammar mistakes.
Hey, I may be a genius, but you wouldn't believe how hard it is to type with my tentacles! They're just so big and burly and strong that it's hard to use a tiny keyboard! Especially with the tiny keys on my Wedge computer.
But anyway, I digress! Since it's going to be a while before it gets put out, I was thinking I could post you some chapters or paragraphs every once in a while. You know, give you a bit of a sneak peak!
It just doesn't seem right keeping my awesome book away from the public!

BUT!
Right now I'm tired. And sleepy. So I'll start later some time.
For now...
zzzzzzzzzzzz
Add to Memories Share

October 23rd, 2010

Bam!

10/23/10 01:40 am
Add to Memories Share
Awesome Ultros
Alright you sissies, here's the deal!
I'm stepping security up a notch! Why? Because I can! Bwahaha!

Let's see... uhmmm....
...
I'll think of something!
just give me a minute.
Add to Memories Share

October 4th, 2010

Ultros (and only Ultros) is back, baby!

10/4/10 12:25 am
Add to Memories Share
Awesome Ultros
Wow, now that I've woken up from that crazy dream wherein I had annoying, difficult to use FINGERS and multiple heads, I'm prepared to GET THINGS DONE!
Starting with being the town hero when I get rid of all these crazy little buggers in the vents. Yeah, that's right, I'm so ahead of the game that I've already come up with a great plan to blast 'em all, and we're going to do it with this neat little invention of mine, I call this the....
(It's got a very, very long name [of course, the longer the name the better, obviously], so let me just take a really deep breath in preparation...)

....

Theabaclkcjf-WOW. you guyzyzzzszsz. yoe;r all so... hehf can'tas ee nmty keboadf nad i'm aldfll deizzy.j  hwerhe is my voiec?

admd I turaneing grean? joh no, imp, IMP21 helpmed out nman!

is this a sifl dustrict butan? weee!

*BOOM!*

If feel sick.byebyew!e @w@  *n*
  • Current Mood: aggravated blowed up facey
Add to Memories Share

September 29th, 2010

Acghk!

9/29/10 07:50 pm
Add to Memories Share
Pink Ultros
Oh my gosh, I'm a freak. a FREAK! I don't know how I'll...
Oh, why hello there, my lovely, sweet snackalicious beauty.

Get your tentacles off of Celes, you bloody animal!

Gau not like this.... feel sick....

Arch, if ye be tossin' yer load on me back, I'll be guttin' yer section o' this blasted chimera of a bod and usin' yer innards to be the fabric softener when I wash yer belly-bomb off me shirt.

( Private )

(OOC: Hopefully you guys recognize which colour belongs to which character :P)
  • Current Mood: aggravated aggravated
Add to Memories Share

September 19th, 2010

Oh no!`

9/19/10 09:03 pm
Add to Memories Share
Sneaky Ultros
Horrible news, everybody!
After Bikke slipped back in to visible reality, he decided it would be a good idea to challenge the big pirate boss to a duel!
The guy's got heart, but... Sheesh, that pirate lord didn't get that position for being a lemon!
I don't want to get in to the gory details, but long story short, Bikke's kind of... sort of... dead. Obliterated beyond all revival, his remains torn asunder, burnt, scorched, boiled, and scattered across the earth, and cursed so that no white magic spell, no matter how powerful, can ever bring him back.

On the bright side, he got a couple of good hits in on that other jerk! Poked his eye out and lopped off three of his fingers!

But, yeah, sad... so sad. I suggest he all have a moment of silence for his brave soul, may it rest in... hey, is that a fortress hovering overhead?
Wait a minute, that isn't hovering, it's fal-*smash*
  • Current Mood: sad Dead
Add to Memories Share

September 17th, 2010

Glee!

9/17/10 01:21 pm
Add to Memories Share
Pink Ultros
Wow, these guys are GREAT! They really know how to party, and they all totally understand my wanting to steal own everything I can!

Not only that, but my old pals who found me and taught me to speak human are here! I've been chillaxing and we've been catching up on old times. Sounds like they're still in the pillaging and plundering business, but apparently they gave up on the raping and murdering. Something to do with morals or something, Iduno.

Anyway, they say I'm still the coolest sea monster they've ever caught (and the only one that didn't try to kill them right away), and we're totally going out for eats at the Sea Shanty pub today.
Come to think of it, that'll be the first time I've gone to a restaurant outside this mall since that dinner and karaoke party however long ago...
I hope they have good oyster!
  • Current Mood: excited excited
Add to Memories Share

August 27th, 2010

PARTY ANIMALS!

8/27/10 06:01 pm
Add to Memories Share
Ultros with a 4t Weight
At first I though, "Hey, these werewolves know how to party!", but then... Well, I tried talking to one of them, and they don't even speak! They don't even speak monster! Just... snarls and yelping and crud. Not to mention they CANNOT appreciate a good TRAP! Yeah, they can sneak up on unsuspecting prey, but I'm much classier than that! So I talk to these vampire guys, and they know what they're talking about!

After my big plan on white mage week failed (I set up the traps and got them all ready, JUST on the day when the specs got fixed! Lost all my profits on account of the traps being "unnecessary"! Blech.), I decided to keep my traps up and use them on the werewolves. Bwahaha. Oh yeah, don't tell Tin Can or any of those other guys that I didn't take them down!

Hehehaw, those vampires are offering me loads of cash for my hard work! Prizes for every doggie I take out! G'heh heh!
  • Current Mood: devious
Add to Memories Share

August 15th, 2010

Now serving: all those in need of amazing plans

8/15/10 03:59 pm
Add to Memories Share
Ultros with a 4t Weight
So, Planet Security needs some help, I hear. You've got problems. Well, fret no more, because I, The Great Ultros, know how to fix them for you!
Normally, I'd be humoured by the troubles that you're having. I LOVE causing trouble! BUT!
I'm feeling sorry for you guys (and I totally realized I could be making money off of this!), so I thought I'd help out.
I don't like to brag, but I consider myself an entrepreneur of sorts when it comes to sneaking around and setting traps. I also JUST SO HAPPEN to have a collection of drop-cages, nets, pit-covers, AND MORE!
It may not be your run of the mill, every-day security way, but I can set these babies up all over the mall and use 'em to capture bad guys.
There would, of course, be a SMALL fee attached to the use of my services and equipment. You know, nothing much... nothing much...

ANYWAY! Let me know, you morons, 'cause this stuff's GUARANTEED! Fail proof AND fool proof! 100% satisfaction, or your money's already been spent!
Add to Memories Share

Get rich quick!

8/15/10 02:27 pm
Add to Memories Share
Vwee Hee Hee!
( Private )
  • Current Mood: determined dastardly?
Add to Memories Share
Powered by LiveJournal.com